wisdoms and randomness from a special mumma

in 2009 i was officially put on a parenting road a long daunting road called autism like any parenting road i knew it would be tough and long but noone tells others what this "Autism journey "is like well let me tell you in how i believe it is 

its a dusty long winding road of unpredictability ,tears rivers of tears , sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion you grieve and grieve hard after diagnosis then add in these shoes your forced into that hurt your feet you drag yourself over hurdle after hurdle you have early intervention and therapy then comes school and funding issues then it likes to throw in all kinds of things like some kids just don't sleep others suffer so bad with aggression and anxiety as a parent you cop it .toileting is another late toileting or they never do it at all .Food when you struggle to get your child to eat or they have so many intolerance's you just don't know what to feed them. we then go down another path of therapy and endless appointments you don't know if your coming or going then comes school and teaching them social skills and life skills and you keep going even when you have other people in your family too look after you keep trying to master that time management skill keep everyone on path and your on that one way street to burn out .
like the parent we are we just keep going along this road our feet hurt our hearts they cry and our shoulders they droop under all this strain but deep down in our souls we are strong when all is down and we feel like we just cant summon one more step something inside says " no you can do this i'm here keep going you can do it lift that foot keep going " and we keep on walking once again because they are ours we are the parent
i hope you read my above words and see what having a child with ASD is like some days we are just done we vent we cry we need a hug we don't need pity we don't need your crap we need a hand we need someone to come over and say " i'm on this journey too here is my hand your not alone " even if not on the journey just to be told what we are doing on this road is worth something that even tho we dont get into the real world often we still belong

i have never turned to drugs to get me through as i have music and i believe its soul food is what gets me through to tune off and tune out to cry laugh and sing to dance and be free for those 4 mins or so i'm just like any of you and sometimes i think thats all we need is to feel human